**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
When are your genitals available?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
