I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
