SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
