If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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