What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
