have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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