I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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