Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
