we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
A bitchslap is in order.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
