Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
