I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
