Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
