Porn is love you can see.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
