Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
