He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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