God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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