Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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