You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
