He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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