i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We need to get me chipped asap
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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