i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
