we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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