i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
