hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
