I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Randomize
