Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
