I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
