Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
