I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
