I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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