p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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