Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
