is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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