that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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