Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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