happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
