I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
