just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
