I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
