Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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