you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
