He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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