Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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