it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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