i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
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