actually, I'm a sock model
Please, let me fuck your mom
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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