Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
