Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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