I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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