even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
