totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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