I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Is it because I queefed?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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